Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
