I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
