Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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