Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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