Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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