I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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