I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
