some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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