i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
