i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
