This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
