i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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