How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
