The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
