I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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