some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
