Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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