I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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