Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
