I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
