to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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