yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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