let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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