White coat. Heels.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
