how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
