I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
