my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
