Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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