Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
