one might say we're banned from that church
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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