i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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