I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
