how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
