But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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