It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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