I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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