YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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