I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
