i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
