Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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