it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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