I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
