I need help removing her.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
