"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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