what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
