And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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