Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
