I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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