In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
