Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
