I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
